If you’re raising a neurodivergent child, or a child with additional needs, you’ve probably had your parenting questioned more times than you can count.
“They just need more discipline.”
“You’re being too soft.”
“If you let them get away with that now, you’ll regret it later.”
It’s exhausting. And honestly, it stings. Especially when it comes from people who’ve never had to navigate a sensory overload in the supermarket, or a full-scale meltdown just before the school run.

Here’s the truth: they don’t live your life.
They don’t know your child.
And they don’t get a say.
Because parenting your neurodivergent child isn’t up for debate. Therapeutic parenting isn’t up for debate. Your boundaries matter. And holding them firm isn’t just valid, it’s vital.

Therapeutic Parenting Isn’t “Weak.” It’s Brave. It’s Revolutionary.

Let’s say this plainly: low-demand, therapeutic parenting is anything but weak. It’s rooted in research. It’s deeply thoughtful. It’s trauma-informed. It’s respectful of neurodivergence. And above all, it’s brave.

You’ve likely made a conscious choice not to punish, not to shame, and not to push your child past their limits for the sake of appearances. Instead, you’ve chosen relationship over rules. You’ve chosen connection. You’ve chosen regulation. You’ve chosen trust.

That’s not indulgent. That’s intentional. It’s radical love in action.

It might not look like other people’s parenting. You’re not shouting. You’re not dishing out time-outs or taking away privileges. From the outside, it can be misunderstood. Outsiders might see calm responses as permissiveness. They might label you as “indulgent” or “too soft.” And they might not hesitate to say so. But what others see as “leniency” is actually regulation, empathy, and respect.
And that’s where boundaries come in.

Not to shut the world out, but to keep your family’s values in.

Boundaries Are Not Walls – They Are Filters

Holding boundaries doesn’t mean you reject everyone who doesn’t ‘get it’. It means you’re clear about what advice or energy you allow into your space.
Not every opinion deserves airtime.
Not every comment needs a reply.
And not every “concern” is your problem to fix.

You don’t need to explain yourself to someone who’s never walked your path. Not to the mum at the school gate. Not to your uncle with his firm ideas about behaviour. Not to the teacher who raises an eyebrow at your strategies.

You don’t need to justify your choices to someone who’s never navigated a school refusal morning, or who’s never calmed a child mid-meltdown after sensory overload. You don’t need to prove anything to someone who hasn’t read the research, walked a mile in your shoes, or cried behind a locked bathroom door because it all just felt like too much.

Boundaries protect your energy.
And when you’re parenting a neurodivergent child, your energy is gold dust!

“No” Is a Full Sentence (And an Act of Self-Care)
One of the strongest boundaries you can set as a parent? The power of a well-placed “no”.
● No to playdates that don’t suit your child’s sensory needs.

● No to birthday parties that will lead to meltdowns and recovery days.

● No to family get-togethers where people expect your child to “just get on with it.”

● No to school trips that ignore your child’s need for structure and predictability.

● No to pushing through when your gut says pause.

And every time you say no to something that doesn’t serve your child, you make space for what does:
● Yes to staying home and diving deep into your child’s special interests.

● Yes to therapeutic art.

● Yes to forest walks, fidget toys, headphones and home days.

● Yes to rest.

● Yes to connection.

● Yes to co-regulation.

● Yes to slowing down and simply being together in a way that feels safe.

These moments aren’t just easy alternatives, and they aren’t compromises – they’re care. They’re where healing and growth happen.

Looking for ideas that meet your child gently? Visit Mind Full Of Art for calming, creative, therapeutic art activities that support emotional expression, build connection and bring you closer together.

You Know Your Child Best – Trust That

The most qualified person to make decisions about your child is you.

Nobody knows your child like you do. You’ve watched them grow. You see what lights them up and what shuts them down. You’ve navigated with them through the tough days and cheered all of the tiny wins.

You don’t need to override that wisdom just because someone else has louder opinions.

So when a teacher, a relative, or a stranger offers “suggestions” that contradict your instincts, your child’s plan, or the strategies that work for your family, it’s okay to say, “Thanks, but we’re doing things our way.” You can walk away – with peace, not guilt.

Their disapproval is not your burden to carry.

Because your instincts matter.

And your child’s needs are valid – even if they don’t make sense to anyone else.

Boundaries With the Well-Meaning (But Misguided)

Sometimes the trickiest people to hold boundaries with are the ones we love. Grandparents, friends, even partners – they often want to help, but don’t always understand what therapeutic parenting really looks like.

They may question why your child doesn’t make eye contact. Why you cancel plans. Why bedtime involves extra steps, or why “picky eating” is actually sensory protection.

They might offer advice that’s out of date or out of touch and pressure you into “just trying” something that doesn’t feel right.

Here are a few phrases that set boundaries kindly but clearly:
● “That doesn’t work for our child, but thanks for thinking of us.”

● “We’re doing what feels best for our family right now.”

● “I know it might not make sense from the outside, but we’re following a therapeutic approach that’s helping us.”

● “We’re working with professionals and following their guidance.”

● “We’re not looking for advice right now, just understanding.”

And if that’s not enough? It’s okay to take a step back.

That’s not being rude. That’s protecting your peace. You’re protecting your child. You’re honouring your family’s needs.

You’re Not Alone With This

It can feel isolating when your parenting choices are questioned, especially when they’re coming from a place of deep love and research-backed care. That’s why community matters so much.

If you’re looking for understanding, encouragement, and a place to express yourself freely, we invite you to join The Therapeutic Couch – a private, welcoming group for parents of children with additional needs and neurodivergent children. It’s a place to be seen, to be heard, and to feel a little less alone in the trenches.

There’s no judgment, just compassion, shared experiences and support.

You don’t have to explain. You can just be.

Boundaries Are a Gift—To You, and To Your Child
When you hold boundaries, you’re not just protecting your parenting. You’re modelling something powerful:
● That it’s okay to walk away from what doesn’t feel right.

● That their needs matter – even if they’re misunderstood.

● That love doesn’t always look loud. Sometimes it looks like quiet courage.

You’re not doing it for praise. You’re doing it for your child.

And in doing so, you’re creating a life that works for them, not for everyone else.

So next time someone questions your choices, remember this:
You don’t owe them anything.
But you owe your child everything.
And that includes a parent who can calmly say:

“This is our journey – and we’re doing it our way.”

Want more therapeutic ways to connect?

🌱 Visit Mind Full Of Art for calming, creative activities
💬 Join The Therapeutic Couch – your people are waiting